FOMO is just a symptom!
A million hashtags on Instagram trend under “FOMO” a.k.a “Fear of Missing out”. It has got a lot of popularity in recent times as people find it extremely relatable. Although FOMO is nothing new; it has existed for years, but it was much less prevalent before social media. Now we are flooded with overwhelming information daily. This is severely affecting the mental health of GENZs and Millennials way more than others
Before social media, we were not constantly flooded with a zillion pictures where everybody seemed to have their shit together. Everybody now has a grand house with a fancy wardrobe and Ikea decor. Everyone has found the love of their lives, and have extravagant weddings. Go on four international vacations every year, smash shoulder presses, effortlessly socialise, smile, and waft through life with ease.
While you wonder how you are breaking out, failing to be consistent, renting designer bags to look like a rich bish, and the only smell you have in your house is that of trash. (Facepalms)
We believe the likes of Instagram and Twitter give us a glimpse into the ‘real lives of ‘real people.’ We want to explore new delicacies, meet new people and immerse ourselves in nature because everybody on social media is doing that. However, we do not see them lying on the floor all messed up, fighting with their partners, or feeling completely confused and lost.
The thing with social media is that it consumes us and gives our mind an illusion that another person is living their life with no struggles whatsoever.
Back in the day, we got to know about the holidays of our relatives and the whereabouts of our friends only when we choose to speak to them, maybe once a month – basically we had the choice. Now it feels like we don’t have that choice. It feels like we are getting information without our consent. You don’t know what the next post is when you are scrolling.
Imagine on a Saturday night, you are staying in your pyjamas and decide to watch Netflix and pick up your phone to relax and open the gram to watch a recipe or meme and you’re flooded with picture after picture of Saturday nights parties, putting you in a “FOMO” state.
hen we question: Why am I not a part of this and why don’t I have this life? Why don’t I belong? Am I not worthy enough?
Well, the next segment has the answer to all your doubts.
How does FOMO affect our mental health?
FOMO occurs when we concentrate on the missing aspects of life, which then manifests into feelings of self-doubts, low confidence, dullness, negativity throughout the day, and unhealthy competition. We get vulnerable as our insecurities come to the surface and we question our choices, our destiny, and everything else in life.
Many problems emerge from FOMO. You make choices for yourself based on someone else’s life. The main reason FOMO increases is – when we are not aware of our purpose in life and when we don’t have our own answers to–“Who am I and what is my goal in life?”
That gives us a feeling of being lost and makes you pay more attention to other people’s lives rather than your own. All we do then is focus on what’s missing.
The energy flows where attention goes.
When your purpose in life is less, the fear of missing out is more. We need to focus on our purpose as when we do that – we are content with our life and we won’t feel deprived of anything because we know it is our decision to choose that life and we learn to see the flowers and lush green grass on our side too.
But how to figure out our ‘inner truth’, ‘our authentic self’ or “the purpose of my life”?
I am not telling you to find your purpose in the “popular way” where you are expected to sum up our life’s purpose in a pithy one-liner, which comes through a backpacking trip. It is not meant to be malleable enough to fit in your Instagram bio, your LinkedIn job title, and your email signature.
Remember, purpose isn’t a one-size fits all. Your purpose doesn’t have to be grandiose, and absolute. Inevitably, like the shifting seasons of life, the things you care about will change.
Your purpose doesn’t have to be for public consumption. Don’t feel the pressure to broadcast a “real and raw” moment to your 367 followers. You’re not the sum of your published experiences. The purpose is not a Nobel Prize, a ranking on the Forbes Under 30 list, a breakthrough scientific discovery, or building an Instagram following, but it is the ability to not seek the validation of others, living without obligation, just on your will. And that to me, is purposeful living.
Your purpose will grow from daily life experiences and challenges. It is not simply ‘found’ after doing a series of online worksheets.
It’s very important to ‘flip the switch”
- START BEING AWARE
Start with being aware that maybe just because Sheerin and Peter from high school are going skydiving doesn’t mean that you have to do it too.
Ask yourself: Is it my calling or do I want to do it purely for the gram?
Every time you go into that cycle of thought –Pause and Reflect to think If I didn’t see this today, would I still really want it?
- ACT AS PER YOUR PURPOSE
The purpose of life is making the most of what life is giving to you and excelling in that. The start is through self–awareness. Once you do that, you feel happy for other people rather than feeling sad for yourself because you have found what works for you. Rewiring your brain to stop depending on external validation. Focus on your life and serve life as it comes.
You don’t need to have a ‘purpose’ for the world; you have it for yourself.
You don’t always have to be recognizable on a higher platform to be the best. It’s less about what we are giving to life, it’s more about what you make of life by understanding what life is giving you. First, you understand how to receive, and then the rest will fall into place.
- DECODE YOUR INSECURITIES
Once you change your life in a way that suits you, you will feel motivated and happy for others rather than jealous. This is not an overnight process–but understanding can help you decode your insecurities. YOU need to make yourself satisfied by finding reasons within yourself and not by looking at someone else.
FOMO is just a symptom. The deep-rooted cause is that you have not found your purpose. You feel lost and unhappy and vulnerable to your insecurities.
As authenticity gets in. Filters get out.
